The Fall Guy

I called the boys to get ready for school today. They were messing around on the computer wasting time before we had to leave. Both were sitting in the same chair staring blankly at their game, harassing one another like good brothers.

"Get your shoes on," I bellowed.

Number One Son clicked off the computer game, stood up, and walked away. Number Two Son stood on the chair, put a foot on the armrest, and launched himself into the air. The chair swiveled, and stole his momentum. The only thing that moved was his launch foot...in the wrong direction. Number Two Son was left hanging in the air, with no where to go until gravity realized his predicament and pulled him down.

It's amazing how long you can just hang there, it seemed like an hour. It was enough time for him to realize this wasn't going to end well, look at me, verify that I wasn't pleased with his dismount choice, and come up with an answer before I could bark at him. He also had enough hang time to learn about Newton's Laws one and three, and the importance of securing a braced launching point before jumping. Finally gravity woke up, at the last moment he learned that once you are in the air, there is no way to change course; even if there is a desk in your way.

SMACK. Head meet desk. But luckily for Number Two he had already worked on his excuse and this accident only played into his hands. He rolled on the ground, rubbed his head and popped up at my feet. The lump was already sticking up.

"Part of the job!" he yelled as he scooted out of the room.

He b-lined for the stairs, ran up to the fourth, spun around and launched himself into the air again. This time he had learned to use the railing for a guide. With one hand he guided the fall and executed a perfect 10 point landing (according to the Romanian judge).

"I'm working on my stunt man moves." Number Two says offhandedly. Meanwhile his hand runs up and gingerly checks the damaged forehead. "Bumps come with the business, I guess."

From the other side of the room Number One Son has been watching the whole affair unfold. "Only when they do it wrong," he replies. "I'm just going to stay in school. Unless a book falls off a shelf, my head will be pretty safe, and as for stairs, that's what elevators are for."